Sometimes...

Life takes twists and turns that don't make much sense. An unexpected bill arrives in the mail, a car breaks down, the cat swallows something it should not have right before a big day at work.

Then there the big things... an unexpected pregnancy, a layoff happens, a death in the family.

Springsteen says it best in When You're Alone... "there's things that'll knock you down you don't even see coming"

What do you do? How do you get through? How do you wake up in the morning and face the day? 

Many deal with it by acting out... some go shopping, others drink, some get a tatoo. Some do all of these at once. Some eat, others have sex. Some go fishing and drink beer. The general direction is one of avoidance. Feeling pain? Take a pill. Down on you luck? Have a shot. Lost your job? Go bargain hunting. Ironically, when faced with intense events in our lives, we often do things that put us deeper in the hole.

One thing that is not natural for most of us to "do" is to stop. When the going gets tough we deal with it by doing something... anything to avoid the pain... anything to not have to feel what we are feeling. Stopping and going inside is probably the least natural thing to do because this is not what we have been taught to do... and most of us have never seen anyone do that. Sure, praying comes naturally to many in times of crisis, but how many of us do more than say a few quick words to the sky when this happens? 

Sometimes... we just have to stop and feel it. Sometimes... the only way to recover is to feel the full brunt of the hurt and struggle through it one halting step at a time, feeling every peak and valley. We can't go above it, below it, or around it. It is too big. Sometimes... as Robert Frost says... the only way out is through.

Another damn good question.

Who the hell knows...

Like beauty, music, or body odor, the determination of "sucking" lies in the five senses of the beholder. What is really important is whether or not you feel better having had the experience.

Where all this is going, nobody knows. Not even me. Whether anyone ever sees this is not a concern or a wish. It is just one person's experience.

It is at once a story, a sermon, a dance, and a woven fabric of the stuff that I experienced... spiced with shit I made up. Sometimes I will say which was which, but don't count on it being true. Only know that it was true when I wrote it.

So off we go, into the wild blue yonder of Stu-ness.

As I told one of my wives before the wedding ceremony, "Hang on Honey, it is going to be a wild ride..."

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